This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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