listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
