mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
