when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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