I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
