You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
