no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
