I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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