I am in a vortex of obligation.
please come you make the beer taste better
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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