yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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