Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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