Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
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