One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
