go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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