Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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