I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
