saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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