i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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