On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
