She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
