how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
