Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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