Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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