Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
