dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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