he wants to bone in the snuggie
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
pray to the hookup gods
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
