Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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