yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
