a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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