so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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