Where did you get a picture of my penis
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
