She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
So much rum. So many feels.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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