You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
There r osticjed everywhere
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
