Where is the hickey?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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