I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
My balls are so social today.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Randomize
