Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
