matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
