wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
