You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
