so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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