ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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