so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
nutella sex= disaster
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
The police scanner is talking about you again....
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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