Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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