My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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