I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
