More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
