paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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