Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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