so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
