youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
