and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
