Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the cops told us we were all naked.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize