you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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