any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
