She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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