So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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