His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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