i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
We named our party play list daddy issues
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I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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