I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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