I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
