he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
