Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
How drunk are you?
Completed.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
