I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I don't think brook has ever known best
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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