Too much gin, very little bucket
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
