Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
