her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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