I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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