apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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