U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
